Part 3: Xerocon Mindful Take Aways

Dandapani

When I was a stubborn kid throwing tantrums, I received an enlightening little yellow book titled something with “Me” in it. While I don’t remember the name of the book, it taught me that I didn’t have to behave the way I wanted to respond. Even 30++ years later, I still think about it. I remember as a child realizing that I could step back and change my approach to a situation to handle it appropriately and acceptable to those around me. Although, sometimes, the worst, aka “my feelings” got the best of me.

In 2001, my boyfriend taught me the classic quote that many are recognized to have said, “Thoughts become words, words become actions, actions become habits, habits become destiny.”

However, it still seemed quite abstract. Yes, I need to focus here in order to get there. I get it. It can’t be so hard.

Work work work. Focus focus focus. Hey, progress, look where I’ve gotten! But the concept can still be quite conceptual and difficult to implement.

Dandapani understands this and his approach after 10 years as a monk is not only of this era, is made light with humor and heavy with logic. He explains how we are taught to do everything except the actual task of concentration and focus. We are just told to do these things without practicing them.

He guided us (1000 accountants) through exercises to prove that awareness is separate from the mind, and if you can clearly understand that the mind has no control and no ability to decipher good and bad, that it is then when you can also clearly see that awareness can be put in the areas of the mind where you want to focus.

The biggest thing here is also being clear on what you want and what you need to change in order to know where to place your awareness and focus and concentrate there.

This is a very refreshing take on a concept that has plagued me and I’m excited to be on day 2 of his 5 week complimentary course given to xerocon attendees.

“WHERE AWARENESS GOES, ENERGY FLOWS.” -Dandapani

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Mel Robbins

Piggybacking on the topic of being able to separate your feelings by recognizing they are separate areas of your mind and where you allow your awareness to go, Mel Robbins introduced her theory of the 5 second rule.

“& no, it’s not the one where you can pick up food after 5 seconds, blow off the dog hair and eat it.” –she opens, obviously having heard that many times.

During her life trials, which she took us on a quick tour of self-depreciation and hilarious moments,

she came to realize the reason she wasn’t doing things the way she knew she should be doing them is she was letting the way she felt about the situation, moment, task, etc get in the way.

What she then acknowledged is that these feelings start within 5 seconds of when

you’re about to do the dang thing you’re supposed to be doing. We’re supposed to be doing. I’m supposed to be doing.

It was proven during another presentation by Andy Lark, that people who are about to die from health issues have all been told in the year prior by doctors, loved ones, and their own selves that they need to change, but they don’t. So, if the prospect of death doesn’t make us change, what will?

The 5 second rule? Maybe the 5 second rule paired with the practice of putting our awareness where we need it to be focused. Maybe the 5 second rule can’t be put into action without our awareness to focus on bringing us back into the correct action or reaction.

What the heck is the 5 second rule?

It’s you knowing you need to do a task: return a call, follow up with someone, call your mom, not eat the donut, and on and on and the moment after this thought you think, oh, I’ll do it on Friday during my lunch, or in the car when I have time driving, or well, it’s just one… Instead of following the feeling, you stop yourself, and count backwards; 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and just do it.

Yes, Nike, you’ve said it all along. Just freaking do it, right now.

There’s also some interesting science behind the part of the brain that ignites when counting backwards towards lift off. While it was actually watching a rocket take off that spurred this process for Mel, she had no idea there was more to it, but the world works like that in mysterious and magical ways to help us get to where we are meant, want and focus to go.

This is being Xercon Mindful. It’s so cool that these are the learning experiences an accounting firm wants us to have. Again, much appreciated.

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Xerocon, I can’t help but wonder if they only thought about the similarity of comicon with the name of the event. In the jewelry industry, when things are on consignment, the abbreviation NOC may be used, because no one wants to use the prefix “Con.” However, in Spanish, “con” means “with,” so I’m going to remove my jewelry association and embrace:

I am With Xero. #xerocon

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Cheers to cool socks from Gusto, soft shirts from Avalara, Gusto, Expensify, and Xero, and to the teams at Xero and the apps we use such as Gusto, Lightspeed, Bill.com and Shopify, rock on!

Part 1 Updates Part II Releases